I was having a conversation with a friend the other day whose daughter has a boyfriend from another country. I think he is from Finland, or Scotland....anyway, he's not from here.
My friend told me she had asked this young man what was the one thing he found different, in this country, from his own. His answer? Food. Not just the food as in specific dishes but the size of the portions. He told her a small package of fries, like the ones we get from the giant of fast foods, would be considered nearly an extra large portion in his country.
We laughed about this and figured that was the reason there is so many people battling weight problems. We simply eat too much of a good thing.
Last night I decided to fix some chicken breasts for supper. My husband does not particularly like chicken, but we needed a break from the usual beef/pork menu. I've been buying these bags of frozen, skinless chicken breasts for several years at the place where I buy my groceries. In the past there were always six or seven chicken breasts in the bag. The bag I opened last night had three in it. Three huge, ma-honkin', chicken breast.
I went to the drawer and pulled out my handy tape measure to check the length of one of these colossal chicken breast and it measured over ten inches long. This fact made me wonder about the feathered fowl who had carried such mammoth mammaries because I'm thinking it must have been the size of a rottweiler.
This thought led to another, which is usually the case, and I was thinking a chicken of such grand size would make a good protector. Instead of the guard dog, we could have a guard chicken. Imagine the look of fear on an unexpected visitor as they stare down the beak of the guard chicken, the guard chicken with huge breasts. Why, a guard chicken would probably only have to rustle its feathers to send a prowler in search of a place with a dog.
We could post signs, BEWARE OF CHICKEN, on the front of our homes. That alone should scare the chicken crap out of just about anyone. I also figured feeding the guard chicken might be less expensive to feed than a guard dog, so there is another feather in the cap, no pun intended, to having a guard chicken. A guard chicken could spend its days, during the warm weather months, pecking and scratching in the yard, terrorizing all forms of insects so that would eliminate the need for an exterminator, yet another plus. In the evening, the guard chicken could take its rightful spot in a straw lined box located somewhere close to the most used entrance of the home.
Guard chickens would not bark, but every so often they would give out a low warning cluck. By the time an intruder heard the cluck, it would be too late and said intruder would be pummeled by short wings and large breasts, never knowing exactly what hit him.....death by breast and beak.
Back at the stove, I was pondering just how many growth hormones had been pumped into this pumped up chicken. I have no idea, but I hoped I would wake in the morning being a couple of inches taller.
That didn't happen but I still think the guard chicken is a good idea.
No comments:
Post a Comment