Happy Holiday Kitchen Madness

 Holidays tend to bring out the long buried chef in people.  It is difficult, in this digital society, to ignore the umpteen million recipes.  Even the best fast forward scrollers can come to a screeching halt, reverse engines and find that particular picture that had only been seen for a fraction of a millisecond.  Usually, it had some form of whipped cream in the picture.

Getting to host the family get together, for the first time in over 4 years, it was time for my infamous breakfast casserole.  As usual, thoughts of easy-peezy drifted in the recessed areas of my brain matter.  Breakfast is always a cinch.

There is no particular rhyme or reason to the casserole recipe, only on deciding how big it needs to be.  We were expecting 10 mouths to feed.  At least doubling it seemed to be an excellent idea.

The idea was excellent.  The baking pan, maybe not.  The broiler pan has never been used for its intended purpose, only as a baking component.  Its length and depth looked to be perfect for the plan. 

The ingredients are as follows:  Please be advised that this is from a deeply inner chef idea of how much food they think 10 people can consume.  1 bag of seasoned tater tots, thawed and smushed. (Substituting seasoned, smushed tater tots for hashbrowns reigns supreme in this household.)  1 stick of butter.  A pound, or so, each of sausage and bacon, cooked, crumbled and drained.  3 dozen eggs.  Shredded cheddar cheese.  Cheese is a gift from God, one can never use too much.  

Set oven to 350 degrees. Put smushed tots in preferred casserole baking dish.  Melt butter in same pan used to cook the meat. Pour butter over smushed tots and mix well.  Flatten tot mix in the bottom of the dish.  Layer sausage and bacon over tots.  Gently scramble eggs in large bowl.  During this step, it helps to gently scramble the eggs as they are added.  Not necessarily one at a time, but putting all 36 eggs in the bowl at once gives several yolks the ability to "ghost" during the scramble process.  This will be evident during the pouring process.  Pour gently scrambled eggs over smushed tots and meat.  If any ninja yolks appear at this time, stab them repeatedly with a knife or fork.  This also helps to relieve any holiday pressure that may have been fermenting in one's soul.  Top with desired amount of cheese.  Bake for 30 minutes, after which time, test doneness with a knife. (Not the one used to slaughter the ninjas.)  Do this every 5 minutes until knife blade comes out clean.  Remove from oven and enjoy. (There are no seasonings added to this as the tots have plenty.  Let guests season their own portion.)

The chosen pan for this delicacy was full, dang near to the top.  It made the journey to the oven without loosing any of its contents.

A little oven history:  Having baked a pizza, in said oven, a few days before, a piece of it had fallen off during baking.  This was discovered, unfortunately, too late.  There was a slight trail of smoke coming from the oven vent.  Upon opening the oven door, it released a billowing cloud of smoke that nearly equaled that of Mt. Saint Helens'.  This set off a chain reaction.  First, Runtly, the ever so entertaining Jack Russell Terrier, went into full blown spastic mode.  This involves jumping straight up and down, while barking the highest octave he can reach.  This activity is also non-stop.  He does this because he is well aware of what is going to happen next.  Just like a well written script, the smoke alarm began blaring.  Runtly was in full "save the freaking family" mode.  By the time all the smoke had cleared, another thought wafted through.  Surely, the pizza piece had been fully carbonized. 

While placing the breakfast casserole in the oven, the above mentioned scenario, replayed, somewhere on the back burner....no pun intended.  With that thought, came another.  The months before purchase of an oven liner.  Why not put that in there too.  Splendid idea.  Knowing where the liner was, after that much time, was certainly a gift of fate saying "All is well."

Did the casserole out grow the pan while it baked? Did the past pizza piece still have fuel to burn?  Was the oven liner sent directly from the depths of Hell?  The answer to these questions shall forever remain a mystery.  What is for certain is what happened next.  Turning around to grab a bowl, something in the outer area of peripheral vision sent a new message to the grey matter.  FIRE!  

There, in the middle of the oven, on the brand new, albeit a few months old, oven liner was a single flame.  Although it did take the thoughts back to a time in the past, of visiting the JFK memorial, there was no time for fond thoughts of yesteryear.  

It had obviously been burning long enough because the burnt pizza piece replay button had just been pushed.  Smoke billowed, dogs barked (Runtly's momma was in the mix as well.) Smoke alarm blared.  House filled with smoke. Everyone is talking.  Really loud. 

Grabbing a pair of long tongs, while shouting to "clear the way!" to the back door, the oven liner was snatched and flung out the door in one fluid motion.

After the haze lifted and the windows were able to be shut, the casserole was a huge success.  The oven liner was last seen, trailing in the wind, from the mouth of a large, black German Shepherd.

Reflections

 

The lights from the Christmas tree reflect in the glass of the window.  Giving it a nearly ethereal glow.  Additional lights were added to the pre-lit tree.  With the obscure view, it was true.  The section of lights, at the top of the tree, that went out 10 minutes after all the decorations had been put on, was not nearly as noticeable.  

Thoughts of Christmas' past begin to filter through.  Standing on the stairs, looking out the window.  Waiting.  Waiting for a familiar car to be seen coming down the street.  Only after its occupants arrived, could the festivities of Christmas morning begin.  They were always late.

Remembering certain toys that were a 'have to have' affair.  The doll.  She walked, talked and had her own little school desk.  A set of magnets, that provided endless hours of constructive ideas.  The slot car race track.  It was later set up in the basement.  Drivers of all ages raced and occasionally, sent a car flying off the curve to land in a pile of laundry on the other side of the room.  The year that contained no toys.  Supposedly a rite of passage.  Whose idea was that?

Having Christmas someplace other than what was considered 'home'. It was time for the older fledglings to start their own traditions.  New people began to be added.  The season of toys had returned.  The Christmas cycle was beginning to come full circle.  But, not quite.

The year of the absence.  Was the first one noticed as much as the second?  The second one was the glue.  Although her time of matriarch extraordinaire, the person who did it all, had passed, her presence was always a present.  Her 'goneness' was a gaping hole. Would it ever be the same?  The simple answer was "No".  Plain and simple.  "Nevermore, quoth the raven".  Stupid bird.

Looking back at the reflection.  Fast forwarding to the present.  The world did not stop spinning.  Even when thought it should have.  The choice is simple.  Things happen, life goes on, holidays will come and go.  The most important thing is the reaction to what has unfolded.  Not always easy, but simple.

May the reaction to the reflections of Christmas' past and present be filled with love and fond memories.  May those, not as fortunate be among that love and not forgotten.  Let not the reason for the season be forgotten beneath a cardboard box and crumpled paper.  May the choice be for a very merry Christmas.  

 

From The Desk of The Dog: Weirdness & Ruff Times

 I'm back again!!  Mom says I might get to do this full time!  She says that folks like me cos' I not very serious and I have poor grammer.  I say grammer scrammer, who wants to be serious all the time!?

Since I'm bein' funny though, Mom says I have to tell my serious story first.  It falls under the 'Ruff Times'.  A few days back, I was outside with my peeps.  A dogs' duty always comes first and foremost to the family.  Unless, of course, something distracting happens.....like a squirrel or a mouse.  Anyway, Mom and Dad were outside workin' in the yard.  I had been doin' dog stuff.  Sniffin', diggin' and barkin'.  The neighbor peeps came over to help.  Of course, my buddy Max and Dumbo Thor had to come over too.  D Thor likes my Mom and I'm not sure, but I think Mom likes him.  Sometimes, that idea stays in my head.  The more I think about it, the more I don't like it.  

After I had thought about it for quite awhile, I came up with the bestest idea.  I was gonna do something about it.  I decided it was time to show D Thor who was the boss of this side of the creek.  For no reason, that anyone else could see, I showed my teeth, raised my hackles and lunged at DT (for short).  He didn't like it much and tried to get away from me.  That just stoked the fire!  I lunged again and he kept backing up!  By this time, I'm soundin' like a ferocious critter and Mom and Dad were heading my way.  That's when I thought it was important to show my family saving attributes so.... I lunged again.

Things then took a turn for the worst.  DT had reached the point of 'enough'.  In my defense, I did have him at a place of no return.  I had him backed up against the propane tank.  In his defense, Mom says I hafta put this part in my story, he really had done about everything possible to get away from me.  Thor bit me.  Not hard.  At least that is what Mom says.  I beg to differ, cos Mom wasn't the one who got bit.  It was at this exact moment though, that Mom and Dad got between us and stopped the fight.  It was too late.  I was layin' on the ground, wailing like a banshee!  Mom tried to pick me up and that made me wail even louder!  I had to follow Mom to the house and I walked sideways the whole distance.  When I got inside, I looked real sad, but I did let Mom look me over.  She said there was no blood and it seemed to be a long way from my heart and that I was fine.  Mom is mean.

A couple of days later, a little red place did appear on my tummy, so see, I wasn't fakin'.  But, anytime Mom tried to pick me up, I would let out a loud yelp.  Mom thinks the fight may have been a necessary evil, whatever that is, because Dumbo and I now seem to have a healthy respect of each other's space.  I think Mom has been in the eggnog. Sometimes I need time to plot my next move. 

I'm all better now, but I'm a bit worried about Mom.  I think that those marbles she lost musta been real important.  She did the weirdest thing ever.  She brought a tree into the house and put a bunch of stuff on it.  Even stuff that makes it light up the room at night!  But, here's the very weirdest part about it......I'm not supposed to use it like I do the outside trees!  

I gots to go look for those marbles!  Woof! 

An Amazing Time

 Few would argue that 2020 has been a year that will forever be etched into the chronicles of time.  It came into our existence, seemingly harmless and has left us scratching our heads, wondering why things came about the way they did.

It could be referred to as the year of fear.  But, also one of great sadness.  The year of great healings and the year of tearful good-byes.

Many see it as the year of destruction.  The country's finest, the youth, have been left to suffer.  Their demise in learning, to be seen as the greater good, among a sea of division, delusion and misinformation.

A year where technology runs the show.  Where MSM feeds its listeners with, not what they need to hear, but what the media wants them to hear.  They alone have sown the seeds of division. Giant social media platforms are allowed to censor anything that runs contrary to the way they want things to be.  Even so much as silencing forever, from their platform, an idea that might give a person a reason to actually think for themselves.  Or, simply, to enjoy a rhetoric, that goes against their very belief system, but, perhaps, they find it entertaining.  A year of 'The Tech Giants' know best.

By far, it has been a year of learning to not take things for granted.  Especially paper products.  At least the idea that everything a human needs to stay alive, can be found at the grocery, or big box store has slowly awakened people to the truth.  One can only hope.

A year where public officials, elected by the people, make rules for their constituents to follow, but do not follow those same rules for themselves.  Then, stand by and watch hard working people lose their livelihood and could care less.  But again, for the greater good.

A year of uncertainty, as the very process that makes this country free, has been turned completely upside down.  Particularly, in a way that has even the staunchest believer wondering what just happened.

2020, a year of complexities.  It certainly is an amazing time to be alive.  To be witness to what has transpired over the past few months.  Some will think this presumptive but, "It ain't over till' the fat lady sings."