Monday, July 21, 2014

Home Remedies 101

     Saturday morning I hopped in my car and drove 40 miles to the nearest prompt care facility I could find.  The reason for this was the losing battle I was having with the recent infestation of poison ivy.  I was miserable, it was still spreading and nothing seemed to work.

     There is something very odd about going to a big box store for medical services, but I must admit, it was convenient.  Just like in a fast food joint, there on the wall hung a large sign with a list of ailments to choose from.  I picked #10, the poison ivy/oak combo meal, and asked them to super size it for me.

     I received two steroid shots and some ointment.  I think steroid shots should be a monthly regimen, I was super woman by mid afternoon.

     I guess I was looking for an instant cure and it has yet to happen.  I didn't ask how long it would take the shots to work and the ointment really wasn't helping.  I woke at 1 a.m. Sunday morning and thought I just might go stark raving mad because of the itching.  I got out of bed, still feeling like super woman, and just stayed up.

     Last week I had found some relief with a paste of baking soda, of which there is still a trail throughout the house.  Someone mentioned fingernail polish, so I thought I would give that a try.

     It's always a wise idea to choose either clear or some neutral, skin matching color of polish....I had hot pink.  Not only did I look like I still had the plague, it shimmered. 

     Yesterday afternoon I got in the swimming pool.  It's been unusually chilly in this area over the past week and the water temperature was a bit cooler than I like, but the relief was instant. The cold water made the itching stop and even helped with the swelling. 

     Realizing I couldn't stay in the water all night, I decided to try one more thing and I may have hit upon the magic combination: oatmeal and salt.

     Putting the dry oatmeal in a blender helps to reduce the size of the chunks.  A few quick pulses, especially if the blender has an ice crush mode, works quite nicely.

     Place the freshly pulverized oatmeal in a small bowl and add some salt.  I used Himalayan crystal salt.  It's much better and healthier than plain old table salt, but I'll save that information for another day.  How much salt to add depends on how much pain one can stand, I used a lot.

     Next, add a small amount of water, just enough to make a paste. This will continue to thicken the longer it sits.

     When the solution is thick enough to stay on the end of your finger and not land in big blobs all over the floor, apply liberally to all infected areas.  

    Let dry.

     If a speedier drying process is needed, a quick trip up the street on a bicycle helps with this and also keeps the thighs from rubbing together.

     The end result will look like some small child just projectile vomited all over you, but the relief from itching will be instantaneous.  If necessary to venture out in public, be sure to follow someone carrying above mentioned small child to place the blame on, because you will be noticed.......from a mile away.

     Before bedtime, place another sheet on your side of the bed.  This will help to keep the chunks that fall off out of someone else's sleeping area.  This will give you the feeling of having eaten a large bag of chips in your bed, but sleeping and not itching will be achieved.   Also, keep bowl of paste nearby, in case of relapse.

     The next morning, if there are plants to water outdoors, that is a good time and place to wash off.  The cold water from the hose will not only help loosen what chunks did not end up in your bed, but will remove any sleepiness that may be lingering.

     Reapply as needed.

     It's working.  Maybe when the oatmeal mixes with the baking soda all over the floor, there will be a batch of cookies soon and I won't have to run the vacuum again.

     

     
     


   
     

     

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