Thursday, June 19, 2014

Drive Me Crazy

     "You're driving at 10 and 2 aren't you."

     "What?" I quipped.

     "Your hands, they're at 10 and 2."  He grinned.

     "Leave me alone."  I said and then we both laughed.

     It was on a recent trip through the back roads around our rural country side that my husband teased me about my driving stance.

     He was right.  I do drive at 10 and 2.  Not because I want to or fear the open road, it's just the only comfortable position my little car allows.  Mother always drove at that steering wheel clock position, peering intently down the highway.  She could also drive for twenty miles with a turn signal blinking.  If she was following you, it didn't matter what you tried to get her to notice, she was too busy at 10 and 2.

     I pulled out of the parking lot of a big box store the other day behind a big white car.  I was reading the license plate and figured it might be the drivers' name.  It was a pretty sounding name but I'll just call her Niceta, (Ni see ta).   

     There are five stoplights in the entire county, all located in the county seat, on the same road.  Niceta and I pull up to one of these. It's the only one that has the wonderful option of a right turn lane. It's legal to make a right turn on a red light, given there is no other vehicle approaching.  The light is red.  Niceta stops and of course, I stop behind her.  The view from this particular area is wide open, there isn't a car anywhere in sight, just us.  Niceta is taking no chances, we must wait for the light to turn green.  I raise my hands in disgust, not because I was in a hurry, but why pass up the opportunity to turn right on a red?  I can see Niceta in her side mirror.  She looks to be much older than me and I think, she's probably driving at 10 and 2.

     The light finally turns green and we proceed.  I follow her through the next light.  Lucky for us, it was green.  A block later a huge white SUV pulls out of a side street in front of Niceta.  I know what's coming and prepare for Niceta to hit the brakes.  She doesn't disappoint.  The SUV travels about half a block and turns left.  It must be Niceta's partner in road safety because when she turns left she does so so slowly I thought she might come to a complete stop in the oncoming lane of traffic.  I notice this driver is much older too, I also notice the position of her hands on the wheel.  10 and 2.

     By this time I was laughing out loud and Niceta and I made it through stoplight number three.  As we approached #4 the light turned yellow and I bid farewell to Niceta.  She had made it through on green and even though I had the opportunity to get across the intersection on yellow, which is something my children chastise me for never doing, I'd had enough of following her.  

     I'm first in line at stoplight number five in the left turn lane.  I cruise the corner and return to the position of 10 and 2.  I tell myself I'm not old, crank up the radio and make a mental note to not get a vehicle that matches my hair color.  Unless of course, it's black.

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