Welcome to the A.G. Club. It has no membership dues or fees. You won't find its members going door to door selling donuts, cookies, candles, pizza kits or 50/50 raffle tickets to raise money for their cause. There is no written charter or rules to follow. Although most of the groups are small, they are becoming a world wide phenomenon. Welcome to the Aggressive Girls Club.
There is no doubt that girls can be mean. A teacher who had spent most of their years with junior high age students once made the comment that girls turned into bitches about junior high, but usually by the time they were juniors in high school, they ended up being pretty nice individuals.
Girls go through lots of changes during that time frame in their lives. Hormones rage and drama reigns as the queen of all that is important. They can be so mad at someone one day, swearing to never speak to them again, to inviting that same person to a sleep over two days later. Being a parent of daughters, it's enough to make your head spin.
Not only do girls still go through a mean stage, they are beginning to get aggressive, physically aggressive. It's not an entirely new thing, but it seems to be gaining an enormous amount of popularity. On the front page of today's paper is a story about three girls, one victim and two aggressors. The incident happened in a locker room while the victim was partially clothed. One of the aggressors grabbed the victim by the hair, pulled her to the ground, hit her and then repeatedly slammed her head off the floor. Her cohort in this attack recorded it on her phone, then proceeded to show it to other students. These were high school girls, but still young enough to not get their names printed in the paper.
That far surpasses just being mean, that's vicious. It also sounded like maybe it was premeditated because most schools require cell phones to be kept in the student's locker during school hours.
After reading this story I had some deep thoughts. I remember being that age and recalled one of the meanest things I ever did. I said something extremely hurtful to another girl, knowing full well before it left my mouth, how bad it would make her feel. And it did, she cried. To this day she probably doesn't like me and I wouldn't blame her. Another thought I had was what would I had done if one of my daughter's had done that to someone. Along with several things that came to mind, one was they would not have touched a cell phone for the rest of their lives.
I imagine this particular member of the A.G. Club had acted like this for quite awhile. The warning signs had surely been there so why wasn't there some kind of intervention? Did the teachers turn a blind eye or are they so afraid of reaching out for fear of being accused of some sort of harassment? What about the parents, do they encourage this kind of behavior? Being publicly humiliated at any age can do more damage than physical abuse, but that kind of humiliation among a young persons' peers is a huge red flag for intervention to take place, this time for the victim.
Girls who are mean or bully other people have little self esteem. They are grand manipulators and usually have a side kick that is just as afraid of them as everyone else, but somehow has a quality the bully needs. Mean girls put on quite a show to prove how "bad" they really are, when in actuality they are simply hiding behind a facade of feeling not good enough. That by no means excuses their actions, but there is usually some tiny grain of good that was never nourished to grow.
It's a shame that girls think this is an acceptable way to act. It's sad that girls don't want to have a sense of style, compassion and grace that makes them into role models for other girls. Mother always said you could catch a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar, girls today need to understand how important that old adage is. Most boys do not like aggressive girls, it's usually a big turn off.
One thing is almost a certain destiny for the girls who continue to be aggressive and carry that into their adult lives. They will end up old, lonely, bitter and wondering why no one wants to be around them. Young mean girls need to try to wrap their heads around that kind of reality and drop out of the A.G. Club.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment