I've heard that the higher up you go, the thinner the air gets. The oxygen isn't as plentiful as it is closer to the ground. Experiencing a lack of oxygen can cause symptoms of poor coordination, poor judgement, tunnel vision and even euphoric sensations.
I think that's what is happening in Chicago.
Just last week I read an article about how it was discovered that the Chicago schools were receiving lots more money than the down state schools. I hate to burst their bubble, but I think all of us down here, where there is more oxygen, knew this. The reason given for why they got so much more money was because the Chicago schools didn't have to fill out the mountains of paperwork required by the rest of the schools in the state. I think they must have been suffering from the euphoric sensations.
Today's paper has two articles in it that I believe will prove the thin air hypothesis. The first one is about a high school in a suburb of Chicago that had enough funds, a little over $600,000, plus $250,000 from a state grant, to install a nanotechnology lab. If you are not familiar with nanotechnology, it's right up there with one of my favorite topics, quantum physics, just don't ask me to explain it. The microscopes alone, all seven of them, cost over $400,000.
The education secretary of the United States just happened to be visiting this school at the unveiling of the lab, which the school openly acknowledged that they knew he was coming. This guy says the ability for other schools to have similar labs "isn't too far fetched." I don't know how long he had been in Chicago, but obviously long enough to suffer from lack of oxygen to the brain. The student body of this school is also over 50% Hispanic, but that is another discussion for another day.
Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of every high school having a nanotechnology lab, but don't throw out the magnifying glasses just yet. It will be a long while before those microscopes make it down state. Most of the people up there don't know there is a "down state", they must be suffering from tunnel vision.
The second article that caught my eye was about a Chicago alderwoman who wants to impose a $25 licensing fee for...wait for it....bicycles. Why, it will generate millions of dollars in revenue, and she wants the bike owners to take an hour long safety class. I'm not sure if she wants the class taken before the purchase of a bike or during, but that will make for some mighty long check out lines. Plus, somebody will have to be paid to teach the class, oh but wait, there's that $25 fee. That's sort of like last weeks article where they hired a man for a position that didn't exist, so they made one.
Then the alderwoman said, and I quote, "Some people just get on a bike. They don't really realize what the rules of the road are or what the signal is for a left-hand turn, a right-hand turn. There's some usefulness in having them take a short course." I beg to differ about just getting on a bike. I was the last kid on the block to learn how to ride a bike and had to use the neighbor kids' bike to practice with. The reason I had to use her bike was because she was lots younger than me, her bike was little, and my feet could touch the ground on both sides. So don't tell me "some people just get on a bike". Guess what else? Way back when, in elementary school, we were taught bicycle safety and the rules of the road, including hand signals and I haven't forgotten them to this day. It's not her fault though, she's just showing one of the symptoms of thin air, poor judgement.
Maybe if all of us 'south of the border' of Chicago went out side at the same time and waved flags we could accomplish two things. First we could fan some much needed oxygen their direction and second, they might notice that we are here.
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