I was going to wait until the end of the week for this, but the topic is growing so fast I was afraid I wouldn't be able to pick my favorites. Favorites is an unfavorable word for this, maybe I should have used outstanding, or better yet, outrageous. It's like a snow ball, rolling down hill, getting bigger and bigger. I don't know if it will eventually lose its momentum or crash into something and explode all over the world. Maybe we could use the same technology that is being worked on to shoot huge meteorites to smithereens, before they crash into earth, on this snowball. If we don't, I fear it will do more damage than a meteorite hit.
So far this week I've heard three stories about common sense, or the lack there of. The first one is a school that has banned playing with any ball other than a Nerf ball. Really? In case you are unfamiliar with a Nerf ball, those are the ones made of soft compressed foam rubber. They don't have any weight to them, to speak of, therefore they don't throw fast or hard. So consider the changes made in some athletic activities by replacing the originally intended ball with a Nerf ball.
Ever played pitch and catch? One of the best parts about that game is the distance between players. Usually you start out by being about thirty feet apart, but the longer you play, the further apart you get. You head into the street because the yard just isn't big enough and you try to lob that puppy as far as you can. The Nerf ball will certainly cut the distance and there will be no need of the ball glove. I guess all that saved leather could be used for protective gear in case the Nerf ball hits some body part other than the hand.
How about basketball? Now, won't that be fun? I'm not sure you can even dribble a Nerf ball, let alone make a free throw with one. Once again the playing field will be drastically reduced and the hoops closer to the ground. Maybe I will finally be able to do a slam dunk.
Story number two was about a school that has banned running on the playground. Seriously?! Running? What is the first thing a child learns after they figure out how to walk? They RUN! Like the wind! They learn to run faster and faster especially when they discover you are chasing them for some mischievous deed they have performed. What's the point of having a playground if you can't run? What will be next, lowering the swing sets, the teeter totter and the slide? The slide will become extinct because if it's level, your not going to go anywhere regardless of how much wax paper you put under your butt. Again, the room needed for outdoor activities will be smaller. After all you only need about one square foot to stand in. Maybe if all the kids are just standing around in their allotted space they will at least pass out the candy cigarettes.
The third story was about the state of Kentucky banning the 'after the game handshake'. Why? Because of too many fights. Are you freaking kidding me!?! The saddest part about that story was that it wasn't just fights among the players, it was among the coaches and the parents and sadly, I can't think of anything satirical to even say about that.
Many years ago there was a show on TV called "The Twilight Zone". I didn't get to watch it much for two reasons. One, it scared the crap out of me and then I couldn't sleep. Two, it wasn't on one of the two TV stations we were able to get. The weather conditions had to be just perfect and the TV antenna had to be tweaked just so for it to come in, and Dad didn't enjoy tweaking. But I remember the story the one time I did get to watch it. It was about the human race becoming so lethargic and complacent they no longer needed their bones. The whole population evolved into worms. No playing with balls, no running and no manners may get us to that ending.
All these stories can be found online if you go to my beloved Google. Oh, if I'd had Google when I was in high school I could have been valedictorian extraordinaire, but that didn't happen. I don't know where it is going or if it will find a new home but, common sense has left the building. I think I'm going to follow it.
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