Good Things To Know

     During the teenage years and somewhere into the twenties, a lot of us tend to think we know everything there is to know.  We often don't ask questions about future times because we live in the now. Living in the now is a good thing, it's the only time we really have, but in most cases, life goes on and during that journey we stumble onto truths no one bothered to tell us.  Here are my favorite top ten.......

     1.  Unless you have exceptionally wonderful genes, your hair will turn gray.......everywhere.

     2.  Not only will it gray, it will grow in places you never thought possible.  Upper lip, chin, nose and yes, your ears. If you are at this stage in life and are in doubt as to whether you have removed all such hair, a small child will be more than happy to let you know if you missed some.

     3.  Noses and ears never stop growing.  Please give careful consideration to this before putting those ear spacers in your lobes. Although, I guess you could put large baskets in them later on and carry your groceries, this will free up your hands for the cane.

    4.  You will not die from consuming something with a passed expiration date of two days.  Most times you are safe even longer than that, but if it was milk and now looks like cottage cheese, feed it to the cat.

     5.  Looking at pictures of food for extended periods of time will give you gas.

     6.  Unless you are very thin, never run in corduroy pants.  This can lead to spontaneous combustion.

     7.  If you are old enough to enjoy the senior citizens discount, avoid trying new things that require a helmet and pads of any kind. If you enjoy being the topic of entertainment at family gatherings, by all means, strap them on.

     8.  If you like to wear your jeans or slacks more than one day, always check to make sure your previously worn underwear, socks or pantyhose are not in the leg.  If you do find such an object, please do not retrieve it in public.  Mother did this once in the doctors' office.  By the time she got her pantyhose pulled out from the bottom of her pant leg they were about twelve feet long.  This did provide entertainment at the next family gathering.    

     9.  Pouring salt in a wound hurts like hell.  Please apply to yourself first before administering to someone else.

     10.  You are not a body with a soul.  You are a soul with a body. That body does not come with an extended warranty or guarantees of any kind. It does, however, come with two devices for listening and one for speaking.  Learn to listen twice as much as talking.