Today I start with a joke. It's not a very nice joke, but it is one of my favorites and if you just bear with me, there's a reason for it. Also, you may never tell this joke, but I can almost bet you may use its punch line on occasion.
There were two Southern belles sitting on the porch swing.
The first one says to the second, "See all those rolling hills with their pastures and woods? My daddy bought that for me." The second one answers, "How nice!" Again the first one says, "See that fine Arabian stallion in the pasture? My daddy bought that for me." Again the second one answers, "How nice!" Trying to impress, the first one says again, "See the large mansion atop the hill? My daddy bought that for me." Once again the second one replies, "How nice!"
A bit perplexed the first one asks, "What did your daddy do for you?" The second one answers, "He sent me to Miss Annie's Finishing School." The first one asks, "Whatever on earth did you learn there?" The second one smiles sweetly and answers, "I learned how to say 'how nice' instead of ____ you!"
Yesterday I witnessed an all too familiar sight. While running errands and grabbing a few groceries, I decided to take a side street to avoid the downtown area. As I turned the corner, there was a school bus stopped, stop sign arm out, all lights flashing.
Having been in the school bus business for 15 years, I notice all the little details and I knew which bus this was. It was for a pre-school program, independent from the regular public school system. They follow a much different protocol for picking up their students. Public school buses usually have a "golden rule"; if you're not waiting on the bus, the bus doesn't wait on you. Not so with this bus. This particular school bus, I knew, would back up traffic for five minutes while honking the horn trying to get someone to come out and put their child on the bus. I was in no particular hurry and since I was first behind the bus, I had no option but to wait.
A car approaches from the opposite direction, very slowly. In this state the fine for passing a stopped school bus with all its bells and whistles going is supposed to be an automatic six months driver's license suspension plus a hefty fine. The young girl behind the wheel of this car lives in the apartment house across from where I'm sitting. She proceeds ever so slowly past the bus. Now, not only is the driver blaring the horn at the 'still no sign of life house', she is blaring the horn at the car. Now the action starts.
The girl pulls into her parking spot and is seemingly oblivious to what she just did. After all, she went really slow. The aide on the bus jumps out with pen and paper in hand, marches across the street, informs the girl what she has done and writes down her license plate number. Yes, the traffic is still stopping behind the bus and myself. There seems to be a few words exchanged and the aid stomps back across the street and gets back in the bus. Finally the bus driver decides no one is coming out of the 'no sign of life house', closes the door and heads down the street. I glance back over at the young girl. She's standing on her front porch, hand held high and proud in the air, flipping off the bus full of 2 and 3 year olds.
I think maybe somebody needs to attend Miss Annie's Finishing School.
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