Sometimes I forget that even though this blog is published in a county newspaper, I can still write about whatever I want. There may be articles that the newspaper feels they cannot print but, that's OK, I can still write them.
With that being said, I would like to journey back to the last item listed in the last blog.....the sports bra.
I was really excited about this bra because I only have one sports bra and my thought was it would be nice to have at least two.
Why I thought there was enough material to cover my needs will forever remain a mystery. I guess I was lost in some weird time warp where I thought I was still 20 something. Or maybe I was relying on the stretch factor. Well, I can tell you that Stretch Armstrong would have covered more than this bra.
Even before I put it on I was looking at it with my head cocked to one side. Since I had relied on the hanger it was on, for the appropriate size, I began to have my doubts.
When I got it on and looked in the mirror, I suddenly remembered a birthday card my sisters, Lela and Blanche, gave me one year.....I believe it was for my 50th birthday. The card had a picture of a woman with a tiny bra on and the rest of her boobs where bulging out all over the place. It read something like this, "After all these years, Ruth still wears her lucky bra."
That's exactly what I looked like. I even tried to rearrange the ladies to see if that would make it fit. When I pushed everything up, that was hanging out the bottom, it all smushed out the top and what would not smush out the top went somewhere under my arms.
I felt like one of those stress reliever balls. The kind that when you squeeze it on one side, the rest of the ball blobs out the other side.
If it had not been so hysterical, it would have been depressing. So, since I had delightfully cut all the tags off of it, someone will inherit this ancy-fancy sports bra and I shall persevere to find another. One that a at least has more material than a hanky.
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