From The Desk of the Dog

Welcome to another episode of doggy wisdom with me, Runtly, the ever so entertaining Jack Russell Terrier, JRT for short!

I hafta tell you, I'm really worried about Mom.  I think she's losing it.  She's been doing some really weird things lately.  A while back, she stopped making her hair really dark.  I like it because now it almost matches mine....white!  I told her that now she could not blame me for all the white hair all over everything.  She didn't think that was very funny.  I don't know where Mom's sense of humor has gone.

One of the main reasons I go outside is to do my business.  Mom says she is a responsible dog owner.  This is very strange to me.  She takes me outside to pee and poo and then she puts the poo in a bag and brings it back to the front door!  Seriously!  How confusing!  See what I mean?  There is something going on with her.  

Most times when I'm done doing my thing, I kick the sod.  Mom says that is what dogs do to cover up where they've been.  I say it is for a show of camaraderie, kind of like a guy thing.  Sometimes Mom pulls the trigger a bit too fast when she's picking up the dew drops.  When she does this, she gets in the line of fire of my doggy prowess.  It's not my fault I'm not like other dogs.  Other dogs leave a pile, I leave a trail.  Besides, who wants to be like other dogs? Anyway, Mom got a bit hasty the other day and I kicked sod, pine needles and whatever else was lying close all over her.  It was pretty funny but later in the day, I noticed she still had some stuff clinging to her face.  Sometimes Mom is just not quite right.

Then, Mom did the ultimate faux pas.  I don't know what that means, but Mom likes that phrase.  We were out walking.  Usually I am in the lead, but every once in awhile, I lag behind.  This happens when my nose has picked up some delectable odor that needs investigating.  It just so happened, on this particular outing, that I had found a pole that I had not marked in a long time.  There I am, with one leg strategically placed in the air, getting ready to let go and what does Mom do?  She kept on walking!!  Excuse me?!?
She turned around in time to see me do a pirouette on the stationary back leg.  I don't know what that means either, but I looked like one of those pop up lawn sprinklers in the 'on' mode!  How rude!

Gotta go.  Squirrel is out back waiting for a game of 'catch me if you can'.  Send Mom some good vibes, she obviously needs them!
Woof!