Probably Never

     Mother:  When are you going to start drinking coffee?

     Me:  Mom, I don't like coffee.  Probably never.

     Mom:  Well, you really should start drinking coffee.


     Although that conversation took place many years ago, and on more than one occasion, not much has changed.  I still do not like coffee......unless there is a substantially large bottle of Bailey's close by.

     On a recent trip, we had the pleasure of staying at our good friends' vacation home.  They were not going to be using it during this time period and insisted we treat it like our own.  

     I rose early the first morning and decided I would be the "little lady of the house" and fix a pot of coffee.  On the counter sat a large Bunn coffee maker and it wasn't long before I found some coffee in a near by cabinet.  What was even better, the coffee was DD (Dunkin' Doughnuts), my husband's favorite.

     I located the filters, put the grounds in, added water, turned the machine on and went about finishing a project I had been working on.  Several minutes passed by when I realized there was no brewing going on at the coffee maker.  I walked over and looked at the machine.  The button was on, it was glowing, the warmer beneath the pot was warm, but not one drop of water had seeped into the filter compartment.  I noticed there was a button on the side of the machine, so I pressed it and once again went back to my project.

     This time, I paid a little more attention to the machine and it did not take long for me to figure out that it was just not working.  I turned it off and remembered that I had seen another coffee maker in the pantry.

      This was one of the new, fancy models called a Keurig.  My spell checker wants to write Kruger.  If you have ever seen the movie, "Nightmare on Elm Street", you know that nothing good goes with a name like Kruger.....and it was at this time the Voice, who lives inside my head, began to slowly stir its cup of tea with the handle of a red flag.

     I took this magnificent piece of coffee brewing machinery out of the pantry and placed it on the counter, next to the silent Bunn. .  I was vaguely familiar with the knowledge that it brewed one cup at a time and after looking it over, I decided I could figure out how to make it work.  I found a box with a brand new filter apparatus in it and began to painstakingly put the DD coffee grounds, from the Bunn, into this filter.  I had noticed that there were some of the small individual cups of DD in the cabinet, but I did not want to waste any of the coffee grounds. When I looked to see how to put the water in, I discovered that inside this detachable water compartment, was a filter....just like the one I had already opened.

     I filled the water reservoir, put the filter inside and looked at the small screen to see what the next step was.  It told me it was getting ready, so I waited.  Several minutes went by, again, and it was still getting ready.  I thought this to be odd and lifted the arm that lowers over the filter.  Nothing seemed to be going on and I lowered the arm back to the starting position.  That must have been the magic touch, because now the screen was flashing that it was ready and three "brew size" buttons were blinking in my direction. 

     The little icons on the buttons gave me a choice of a small cup, large cup or something that looked like a tall thermos.  Since I know my husband does not like his coffee strong, I pressed the tall cup and the Keurig sprang to life.  When it had finished, I poured the coffee into the Bunn carafe and turned the warmer plate back on.  Then I brewed another cup of coffee, with the same grounds.

     This next cup was rather pale, but I added it to the pot and although I felt like I had used a lot of coffee grounds, made the decision to start again with fresh ones.  I took out the filter apparatus and dumped the grounds in the trash, then washed the remaining ones out in the sink.  I took one of the individual DD coffee ground cups and PAINSTAKINGLY peeled the foil off the top.  My first thought was, "Holy cow, they sure crammed a lot of coffee grounds into this little cup."  That thought was followed by another about it not being very user friendly when trying to transfer the coffee grounds into the coffee filter apparatus.

     By the time I had succeeded in getting as many coffee grounds as I thought humanly possible in the filter and had cup #3 brewing, my husband came into the kitchen.  I commenced to lamenting about my coffee making experience and when I quit he said, "That Bunn ought to work."  My response was, "Well, it doesn't."

     Sometimes, people who do certain things, know certain things...like people who drink coffee.  My husband walks over to the counter and pours himself a cup of coffee.  He then proceeds to add a few grounds to the filter in the Bunn and then added another pot of water to its water reservoir.  He presses the button to the start position and instantly, the Bunn coffee maker began to rumble.  He then walked over to take a look at the Keurig. "You know", he said, "Those little cups fit right in there and when you lower the handle, it pierces the top of the foil.........."

     Nope, probably never, Mom.