Forgiveness

     for-give [fer-giv]  verb
     1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.);                absolve.
     2.  to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation,             etc.).
     3.  to grant pardon to (a person).
     4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.
     5.  to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the                       interest owed on a loan.

     Many years ago there was a young woman who felt she had been wronged in the worst way.  She had been blindsided and left with a broken heart.  What she had tried so desperately to hang on to was gone.  She was angry and placed blame where she felt it was due.  She wore her anger and hurt like a badge of honor.  She thought of nothing else but the pain.  She let the anger consume her and dictate her day to day activities.  She learned to hate.  She would seek out opportunities to unleash the hatred.  She was miserable.

     One day, she sat down and talked to a young minister about her plight, about her despair.  He listened intently, letting her spill the entire story.  When she was finished, he spoke these word, "You don't have to like that person, but you have to forgive them." 

     That young woman was me and I can remember, as if it was yesterday, the words he spoke.  I can remember looking at him and thinking "did you not hear what I just told you!"  I mean, for crying out loud, didn't he want to jump on my bandwagon of despair and suffering?   To tell me that I HAVE to do that!  I didn't HAVE to do a damn thing!

     But, he was right.  I didn't have to do anything, but I needed to.

     Something deep down in my very soul stirred and his words became a turning point in my life.  Did I spin around like a top and suddenly feel better?  No, but I learned a lot about forgiveness.

     Forgiving is not something we give, it is something we do.  It's an action on our part.  It's not for the other person, it is for ourselves.  It involves nothing more than a decision to do it.  To forgive does not use any energy compared to the energy used by staying angry.  Forgiving is much easier than hanging onto anger and past hurt, that's why we don't like to do it.  We like to feel in control of the situation and control takes lots of effort.  Once the decision is made to forgive, the healing starts and it starts immediately, mending all the damage done by the anger and hatred.
There may be a few scars, but they are just subtle reminders of a life lived and a lesson learned.

     The old phrase, 'to err is human, to forgive is divine' does not mean we can not forgive. To me, it means that yes, we are going to make mistakes, everyone does, but to forgive gives us a touch of the divine nature of God.  Scripture tells us that God is love and in that bright whiteness of purity, there is no room for darkness, for pain, for holding grudges.

      Learn to forgive.  It may be the easiest hardest thing you've ever done, but the dividends will last a lifetime and beyond.