Yesterday's blog was about the common misconception that love and sex are the same thing and that message permeates most of today's music. Today, I would like to embark on some sexual tRuth as I see it. Although it is my intention to share these thoughts with anyone willing to take the time to read this, it is a message for the girls, the young girls.
Hardly a month goes by that there is not some article about a person getting into trouble for having a relationship with a much younger person. Some are teachers having a relationship with a student. Some are people who are just over the legal limit of what is considered adulthood. In most of these cases, lives are tarnished and careers are ruined.
There is nothing new about younger women, girls, falling for older guys, but there has been a huge shift in what can happen to these men, boys, if things go too far. Believe me when I say, there was a time in my life that if my Mother could have played the age card, she would have. Along with having 5 aces up her sleeve.
Reading some comments about a case of an older male with a much younger female, I was surprised at the number of times people said fourteen year old girls do not know what they are doing and it was all the man's fault.
Fourteen year old girls, or 15-18 year old girls, may not understand the consequences of what they are doing, but they know exactly what they are doing. To think otherwise is a common misconception. If they have watched TV, listened to music, flipped through the pages of a magazine, they know what they are doing.
So, my message for the girls is this: When you take that final look in the mirror, wearing your skin tight jeans and shirt, understand that your body is yours and yours alone. It is not who you are, it is not a weapon of power, it is not something to use carelessly or give away freely. If you are fortunate to live a long life, that body has a 99% chance of changing over the years. If you do not believe this, look at your mother, then ask her for her high school year book. What makes you who you are is the way you think about yourself. Yes, you are surrounded by peer pressure and you may be hearing the pleas of someone you think you are in love with to take that next step. He will not explode if you don't take that step and most likely will not think better of you if you do.
Think good thoughts about yourself and share those good thoughts with others. Keep your chin up in times of hurt feelings, these things will pass. Do not worry about what someone thinks of you, in actuality, they spend much more time thinking about themselves. Be kind to others, but especially to your self. Life is full of awesome adventures, even the ones that do not feel so awesome. These things are there for you to learn lessons, lessons that will help guide you the rest of your life. Remember, what you think to be true at fourteen, will be something you will laugh at when you are 20.
Do not be afraid to ask questions. Believe it or not, parents, grandparents, and most adults in general, have had sex, and, like it or not, are still having sex. If they are uncomfortable talking to you about it, find someone who is not uncomfortable and listen to what they tell you.
Before closing, I want to be clear about something. I am not ranting about the clothes. When I was in high school, our hem lines were so short, even in the dead of winter, that I'm surprised half of us did not die of pneumonia. I am also not placing the blame entirely on the girls. Boys have their own common misconceptions and if some of them were true, most men would have gone through life with their eyes permanently crossed. But girls must remember that no matter how hard you try, boys do not, and never will, think like girls and what boys are thinking about when it comes to sex has nothing to do with love.
Be yourself, and most importantly, be true to yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment