Low carb diets are nothing new. Dr. Robert Atkins was the pioneer of the low carbohydrate way of eating back in the 1970's. It has been around long enough to stand the test of time and actually works for those who wish to go the low carb route.
Several weeks ago, after watching a documentary on Netflix titled "The Magic Pill", I renewed my on again, off again friendship with the low carb lifestyle. I will be the first to admit though that going with out bread can be tough. But, that is one of the endless pursuits of the low carb society.....we are ever in search for the perfect bread substitute. The documentary mentioned a macadamia nut bread, that according to some people, was the ticket to replacing the old wheat standby. After some internet searching, I finally had the recipe.
One of the ingredients was coconut butter, something I was totally unfamiliar with, but was soon to discover that it was made from coconut flakes.....simply by grinding them. Perhaps the most amazing part of this was that I happened to have two packages of unsweetened coconut flakes.
Everything I read on how to make this butter stated that the equipment used was the most important part of the procedure. All there was to it was to put one package of coconut flakes into a food processor and process for 10 minutes and that was it. I could not see failure at this point.
I had one bag of coconut flakes in the refrigerator and decided to use it. I dumped it into my food processor and hit the 'on' button. My large food processor sounds like a NASCAR race after the first lap and I was thinking how unfortunate it was that I did not have any ear protection. The articles on making the butter also said that it might be necessary to scrape the sides of the bowl down two or three times during the 10 minute time spread.
I watched with delight as the coconut flakes were ground into a fine powder, that immediately began to cling to the sides of the bowl....within the first minute. Turning the unit off, I carefully scraped the fine powder back towards the blades and started again. Within another minute, the fine powder was back on the sides of the bowl. This went on for at least 20 minutes and I came to the conclusion that maybe the coconut flakes were too cold to start with. I grabbed the plastic wrap and covered the entire bowl and lid unit, deciding on waiting until the next day to continue.
The next day came with exactly the same results. Every time I turned the food processor on, the ground flakes flew to the side of the bowl, out of reach of the blades. As I was contemplating rigging the unit to run without the lid, the Voice, that lives in my head, tapped me on the shoulder. As I turned, there stood the Voice with its arms held up and where its hands used to be, were bloody bandages. I looked the Voice in the eyes and distinctly heard the words, "You cannot be freaking serious." I looked back at the food processor. The lid was what held the twirling blade in place. I quickly scratched that idea.
A friend had given me their food processor, which consisted of three sets of blades and four different sizes of bowls. Perhaps my super loud food processor was the problem and I proceeded to dump the powdered coconut flakes into the largest of the four bowls. Again, the same results were achieved, so I tried the next size bowl...and then the next size and then the next size. Still no coconut butter.
I had read that a blender might work. At this point, what did I have to lose? My small kitchen, with its equally small counter space had shrunk enough to only offer a small square that the blender might actually fit in. I put the powder into the blender. This blender makes the food processor sound like a sleeping baby. It is so loud that I truly believe if it was not for the suction cups on the bottom of the base, it would literally fly straight up, cut a hole in the roof during its flight and end up somewhere out in the cosmos.
This too, turned out to be futile. I looked at the disaster that was once my clean little kitchen and with complete exasperation, I dumped the powder back into the original food processor and hit the power button. Miracles never cease to amaze, because just like magic, the powder began to change into a liquid form that then morphed into a buttery consistency.
The end result of the recipe was not exactly my idea of a great bread substitute and I will never make it again. So, the search continues for the elusive slice of 'bread' concoction and I will be certain to make sure it only calls for one mixing bowl.
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