Brother Bob

     Having jumped into the rabbit hole, or possibly a worm hole, I have come to discover many a weird thing.  Some of the things I have come across excite me and others leave me nearly despondent.

     I feel the need to share, even though it is way out of my realm.  I like to be funny or witty and the material I have come across is anything but.  It is really nothing new, the information is out there if one chooses to search for it.  Of course, when taking a path that is not followed by the masses, discernment is always an important factor to keep in mind, along with the knowledge that a lot of people are going to roll their eyes and shake their heads in dismay.

     As I ponder how best to approach my task of revelations, I decided it was time to try to be funny, if only for awhile.  Rather than wax eloquently about some recent outing where I possibly made a fool out of myself, I shall share with you, one of my favorite jokes.....

     Brother Bob, as his parishioners called him, had started a new church.  The number of his flock were beginning to increase and the one thing Brother Bob did, that was much different than other churches, was to personally conduct interviews with the good folks who wanted to join the church.

     One bright sunny Monday morning, Brother Bob strolled to his office and found three couples in the waiting room all ready for their interviews. There sat Carl & Carole, a couple who had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, Bernie & Betty, who had been together nearly twenty years and Johnny & Sally, newlyweds.  

     Brother Bob was not one to waste time or space and proceeded to usher the couples into his office in order to do the interviews all at one time.  He explained the usual things that he expected like being to church on time, putting the right amount of money in the plate and trying hard not to sing out of key.  All the couples seemed to take in the requirements with little fanfare until Brother Bob dropped the last one in their laps.  He explained to them that in order to become a member of the church, they had to abstain from having sex for two weeks from the day of the interview.   

     Believe you me, the room got deathly silent.  Carl & Carole's facial expression never changed, Bernie's eyebrows were more than half way up on his forehead and Johnny & Sally's chins were nearly on the floor.  After a brief time, they all got control of themselves, albeit except for Carl & Carole, agreed to the terms and promised to meet back at Brother Bob's office in two weeks.

     Two weeks later, Brother Bob walked to his office and found all three couples sitting in the waiting area.  Even though Brother Bob was a bit odd at times, he knew when to be discreet.  He took Carl & Carole into his office first.  He asked them if they had been able to abstain for the allotted time and after a small fit of laughter and a couple of snorts, they assured him they had been able to hold out for the two weeks.  Brother Bob welcomed them to the church.

     Next was Bernie & Betty.  They sat down across from Brother Bobs' desk and told him that even though there had been a couple of close moments, they too had been able to abstain.  Brother Bob welcomed them to the church.

     Lastly, Johnny & Sally came into the office.  Brother Bob asked, "Were you able to abstain for the two weeks?"  Johnny hung his head low and said, "No, Brother Bob, we did not.  We tried really hard but one day Sally bent over to pick up a loaf of bread and well, I just couldn't help myself."

     Brother Bob said, "I'm sorry to hear that son, you cannot become a member of the church."

     Johnny replied, "That's OK Brother Bob, I can't go into Kroger anymore either."