No Scratching Allowed

     There it was, in plain sight.  I knew it was there.  It had been there for a really long time and all that time I had avoided it.

     I was instructing my husband, who had been wielding a chain saw all day, as to where to make the cut.  Men who have been cutting stuff with a chain saw are dangerous.  Nothing is sacred in their eyes, if it stands, it can fall.

     The old part of this lilac bush had been overtaken by a large vine.  I was never sure what the vine was, but I knew what the lovely three leafed foliage was growing on the ground, around the lilac bush.  Poison Ivy.  

     It turned out, the large vine also sported three leaves, Poison Oak.

     When I was a kid, all I had to do to get poison ivy was to look at it.  I remember a time when the real Lela and Blanche brought me home from a week at the cabin.  They went into Mother's work place to bring her out to the car.  I was so happy to see her.  She took one look and me and burst into tears.  There wasn't a place on my body that didn't have the blistering menace, even my eyelids were covered.   She took me to the doctor and they gave me a steroid shot.  By the next day, I was better.  For years after that, I didn't get poison ivy again.

     Obviously there is an expiration date on steroid shots.  I believe I have milked the first one completely dry.

     I knew I was standing in it.......wearing shorts.  But, I was sure I was being careful.  Not so much.  My legs look like I have the plague and my husband is pretty sure that I do.  I keep reassuring him that, at his age, if he's never had it, he's probably not ever going to.  He doesn't believe me, I keep waiting for him to come in with the ten foot pole.

     I'm trying every home remedy I can come up with.  So far, a paste made with baking soda seems to be helping.  The only problem with that is I can't wear my jeans, only shorts.  Now I really do look like I have the plague and I'm leaving a trail of baking soda everywhere I go.  

     That figures, I had just run the vacuum the other day.  It had set out in the office for so long I thought about hanging a plant on it, giving it a new function.  It's just like mopping the kitchen floor.  You can wait for days, weeks, even months to mop the floor and as soon as you do, somebody will drop a glass of milk right in the middle of  it.  This is a true example of the law of physics.

     If you have ever heard the expression, 'leaves of three, leave them be', take heed of that advice.  There's not much of anything that is worse than havin' an itch ya can't scratch.