Hello! It's me, Runtly, the ever so entertaining Jack Russell Terrier, JRT for short. Mom argued that it was too soon for me to paw another article, but I presented my case and she finally accepted my presentation. I also promised to quit laughing at her, once I got to tell my side of the story.
Not too long ago, Mom had the brilliant idea to take me to a dog park. Other humans had told her about this place and how great it was. I really think that Mom was just bored and wanted to go for a ride. Of course, the word 'ride' always makes me so excited, so once again, I fell for that ruse.
We hopped into the car and Mom assured me that it was not going to be very far. See, Mom does not understand, it's not so much about the distance, it's the stops. Every time the car stops, I am ready to get out. I do this when we take the long trip to see my peeps....each time the car stops, I get out of the car. This makes me very nervous because there are no familiar smells and I must keep track of Mom and Dad. Invariably, they always go into some building, but they never go in together. One of them always stays outside with me, then they trade places. They have no idea how stressful this is. Anyway, Mom is taking me to a dog park and even though she said it was not going to be far, she had the luck of the dog to stop at everyone of those places that sometimes make the car stop. I see no good reason for this weirdness, but it seems all the humans in the cars going the same direction do the same thing.
We drove and we drove. Mom kept reassuring me that I was being a really good dog. Believe me, I was trying and then Mom stopped again! This time, she messed with that nasty little thing she carries with her all the time. I do not like that thing, it takes up way too much of Mom's time, time that she could be devoting to me, but I will paw eloquently about that some other time. So, she messes with the thing and suddenly it starts talking. I do not much like that either as I can not find the human in the car that the voice belongs to. Then we started the agonizing process of stopping and starting all over again.
We finally arrived in a neighborhood, at the end of a round street that had houses all the way around it. Inside the round street was some grass and a picnic table. Mom stopped the car again and this time she let me out. The whole time, she is looking at the talking thing and saying that this is not the dog park. In the meantime, I am running around with my nose to the ground. I'm as nervous as a, well, I was just really nervous and there was no way I was doing anything in that grass! All I wanted to do was get back in the car and go home.
We get back into the car, drive around the circle, again, and start back to where we had come from. Now, here comes the only good part about the whole trip. As we are approaching the end of this street, a man who was walking, turns the corner and is heading our direction. Since Mom said she could see the dog park on what she calls the map and it looked like it was right behind all those houses, she rolls down the window....on MY side and asks this unknown human if he can help her.
This guy had lots of gray hair and a beard that matched, so I guess Mom thought that made him look intelligent. But, when she asked if he could help, he kept walking. So, what does Mom do? In a loud voice, she asked him again if he could help. Mom is always talking about blind pigs, acorns and slow learners....sigh.
This time the guy stops. He takes about four steps backwards and leans over to look into the window. Mom asks him if he knows how to get to the dog park. He never says a word, just stared at her. Mom begins again. This time the mans' chin drops down to reveal a huge mouth that contained three teeth. By this time, I am beginning to understand the meaning of slow learner. I had to act and act fast, so I made sure every hair on my body and even those floating around in the air, stood right straight up on end. I assumed the guard dog position of four straight legs ready for pouncing and gave my most ferocious bark.
The man uttered a squeaky word that sorta kinda sounded like "hi" and Mom's voice was trailing off into a whisper about how he wasn't going to be able to help. This guy was an absolute weirdo and I do not know why it takes humans, especially my Mother, so long to figure it out! Later, Mom said he probably was not very smart, but his eyes sure told another story. They looked spot on smart to me!
Mom finally had the good sense to roll the window up and get the heck out of there. We went straight home and I was so happy to get back to the familiar scents of my own grass, because I really had to go by the time we got there.
Mom has promised we will not make that trip again. I really don't know why she thought it would be a good idea, all I would have done was sit next to her on a bench. So, now that I have told my side of the story, I'm going to get Mr. Chewy. While I'm gnawing on him, I'm going to ponder the meaning of the blind pig and the acorn.
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